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Lucy Knisley

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Like, you know, Stephanie Meyer? Get it? [Mar. 25th, 2009|12:23 pm]
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Did you ever think about reading these books, but then thought:
"I don't really have the time/attention span/proper sort of pre-teen hormonal fascination with vampires"?
Now you can see what happens without taking an entire weekend of your life to wade through
approx. 4000 pages of descriptions on how pretty Edward is!
Read on.








Not to step on any Twilight fan's indestructible vampiric toes. I did actually very much enjoy my weekend in Forks.
(as evidenced by my reading the entire series in a weekend)
It's just SO FUN to fun on it.


PS: I have NOT seen the movie yet. I will hit that up movie-rental-store style tewt sweeet.
Because I am the only person on earth who doesn't have freakin' Netflix.
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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: doomsdayblaze
2009-03-25 05:32 pm (UTC)

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This is beyond awesome!

Adding to my tumblr. Will credit. Unless you have a tumblr I can reblog?

Ah, for posterity: http://doomz.tumblr.com

Edited at 2009-03-25 05:35 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]From: britpoptarts
2009-04-15 10:13 pm (UTC)

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*chortles with laughter*

Excellent comics. 5 stars!
Twilight Jewelry - (Anonymous) Expand
THIS IS 100% TRUE - (Anonymous) Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand
[User Picture]From: doomsdayblaze
2009-03-25 05:42 pm (UTC)

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It should also be noted that this was pretty much precisely the same experience I had... oy. Damn you Meyer.
[User Picture]From: stubby_appears
2009-03-29 02:48 am (UTC)

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This is also the exact same thing that happened to me, except stuck in a small beach town.

Thank you for the awesome comic, Lucy!
[User Picture]From: cadeira
2009-03-25 05:44 pm (UTC)

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Dude. Amazing. That´s all.
[User Picture]From: verabee
2009-03-25 05:46 pm (UTC)

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Haha yaaaaaay

I listened to the audiobooks while I was inking and said "OH COME ON" out loud several times. But then I kept listening. That's just how those books are.
[User Picture]From: theywerecones
2009-03-25 05:48 pm (UTC)

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Well the first step is admitting you have a problem. Honestly I was the same way. Unfortunately I kind of let fanaticism ruin things for me, so I only ever read the first book. They are fun to make fun of but I can't really stand the people who take it so seriously. I really like the way you portrayed it. And now with spoiling myself with your comics summarizing the plot of all four books, I don't need to read the last three. ha. Thanks Knisley.
You rock. I <3 u 2.
[User Picture]From: theywerecones
2009-03-25 05:49 pm (UTC)

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PS/ Love that Edward's wedding tux is so Joker-esque. Was that intentional?
[User Picture]From: megacoleman
2009-03-25 05:49 pm (UTC)

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I have an (ir?)rational hatred of Twilight.
[User Picture]From: edbrisson
2009-03-25 05:52 pm (UTC)

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Man, I am living with this right now. My wife is obsessively reading the books like a junkie. She knows they're so bad, but won't stop...

Do not watch the movie though. I was dragged out to it and it was abysmally bad. I had low expectations and it still let me down. Even Janet hated it.
[User Picture]From: outdoorprincess
2009-03-25 05:56 pm (UTC)

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Dammit, that was me.
"Oh hey I'll just read this here book here, nothing wrong with that plan."
One week later, (I forced myself to wait for library books. Was not gonna give that woman more money.)
"Oh.....god.....done..... That was.... oh god I have to just read some Anne Rice."
That's what I'm really waiting for with baited breath. This whole teen vamp thing is making all the little girls tingle in the no noes but eventually one of them is going to pick up some Anne Rice and is gonna read That..
And THEN we are gonna hear some freaked out parents!
[User Picture]From: queenofveils
2009-03-26 02:50 am (UTC)

YAY

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Then all those fancy Anne Rice Vampire Garb will come back in style again....

*crosses paws and claws*
[User Picture]From: conga_chili
2009-03-25 05:56 pm (UTC)

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I think they embed finely-powdered crack in the type that seep into your eyes as you read.
[User Picture]From: mister_f
2009-03-25 05:57 pm (UTC)

The title of the comic caught my eye...

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As that's my last name. Even weirder, I have a half-sister named Stephanie.
[User Picture]From: usagi_moon
2009-03-25 06:00 pm (UTC)

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OMg. So many people love Twilight, but "Porclein God"? I mean, that's what people out there in Cali call a toilet sometimes.....so that got me laughing.

This is great btw. :D

[User Picture]From: random_nexus
2009-03-25 06:07 pm (UTC)

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So, does this mean we'll have to call them Cullens now? *giggle* (I'd've said 'Edwards', but I have friend with that name and he'd have to smack me. ;p
From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-25 06:04 pm (UTC)

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Hahaha, oh Lucy, this is great!
[User Picture]From: random_nexus
2009-03-25 06:05 pm (UTC)

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Lucy, you are made of utter awesome with amazing talent sprinkles!
This made me chortle and snort incredibly.

I agree with the explanation of crack embedded in the type somehow. There's nothing other than mind control rays that will explain it.
[User Picture]From: fadedbluejeans
2009-04-10 07:12 am (UTC)

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The crack embedded type would also explain why anyone who read the books a second time (I had to, I had a university assignment to write on the series...I'm not kidding) gets to about page three before the book is thrown at the wall with incredible force - the crack has come out of the print by then.
[User Picture]From: happy_green_tea
2009-03-25 06:06 pm (UTC)

amazing

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i made you a tinyurl and tweeted this masterpice. http://tinyurl.com/lucylou
[User Picture]From: daleof
2009-03-25 06:07 pm (UTC)

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What?
[User Picture]From: alisa5179
2009-03-25 06:09 pm (UTC)

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Ha ha ha ha! Thank you for making this comic which is most definitely better than me spending precious hours reading these books.
[User Picture]From: nekomata
2009-03-25 06:11 pm (UTC)

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I love you even more now. Best plot summary EVAR!
[User Picture]From: ameinias
2009-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)

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Oh no, I did this exact same thing. Except I did it with pirate audiobooks so at least they were free, except that meant actually listening to someone describe Bella vomiting a fountain of blood out loud. And you can't put a fake slip cover on an audiobook to hide your compulsive shame.
[User Picture]From: kafuness
2009-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)

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Is... are you faking on the last book? Because that's some crazy shit. I like don't believe you.

I like Nelly in the first few panels.
[User Picture]From: mercurywater
2009-03-30 05:07 am (UTC)

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I didn't belive it the first time I was told either, but it's TRUE. All of it.
[User Picture]From: vin_edgar
2009-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)

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I have this theory, see...

and yes, that's just the uncanny valley upaide-down
[User Picture]From: visdviking
2009-03-25 06:14 pm (UTC)

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I haven't touched any Twilight yet but now I am even more tempted. Especially now that I know it all takes place in a town that shares it's name with an eating utensil.
[User Picture]From: neojezebel
2010-09-28 07:58 pm (UTC)

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LOL!
[User Picture]From: bmcsmartypants
2009-03-25 06:15 pm (UTC)

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And now you share my secret shame.

Welcome.
[User Picture]From: ponyjoe
2009-03-25 06:18 pm (UTC)

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PPfffft hahaha. I braved the Spoilers, haven't not seen the movie nor read the books, and I'm SO glad I did. You, sir, are hilarious.

I couldn't even make it past the 3rd chapter :(
[User Picture]From: piratecore
2009-03-25 06:18 pm (UTC)

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AHAHAH! Lucy you are hilarious
[User Picture]From: poisonrational
2009-03-25 06:20 pm (UTC)

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AHAHAHA... Omg, Lucy, that slays* me. It's very accurate. Thank you.

(*Unintended vampire pun. Sorry.)
From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-28 11:10 pm (UTC)

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man that was great...im never reading the books either...
so there! HAHAHA
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