Sigh! Because I actually do love vampires, I can not at all like the twilight series. I did see the first movie, which upset my nerd-goth sensibilities. Also, I was really confused as to whether or not I should be offended about American Indians being werewolves? I think I've decided that it just makes me pretty uncomfortable. Thank you for telling the whole plot so that I don't have to go back and see the other movies!
Sadly, this was exactly what I did. I even went back and reread them. And then I realized that the writing was some of the worst that I had ever read, and that the story was so predictable and so annoying.
I love your synopsis. So true :)
2009-03-25 06:34 pm (UTC)
I ordered another copy of FRENCH MILK
So go on. Burn through those royalties. BUY the DVD already.
exactly. so much exactly ms. kn.
2009-03-25 06:44 pm (UTC)
These are brilliant bb!
noooo the world is supposed to stop talking about these books because I am constantly tempted to see what the hell could possibly have people going so crazy over them. I was at the panel at comicon and my ears bled for like a week from all the girlscreams.
STOP IT LUCY STOP IT
Got linked to this, and I'm so glad! HILARIOUS. It's funny because it's true.
"Twilight means never having to say you're kidding."
Your summary is exactly how I imagined the book to be from hearing other people describe it. Congratulations!
I agree, best Twilight parody I've ever read.
Then again, you didn't parody intentionally, just summarized. One of the reasons I hate this book is that the plot parodies itself.
I watched the movie last week. I haven't read the book so I found the movie hilarious. Half of it was heavy breathing and staring and the other half was Edward constantly jizzing in his pants everytime he saw Bella...allegedly.
Lucy that was hilarious.
You succumbed like the rest of us and crawled in and bought the rest of the books. Only I read twilight when it first came out and when I went back to get New Moon imagine my surprise and horror when the guy at the bookstore lead me to the Tween section. ugh...embarrasing.
Please tell me your gonna make one of those drawings available for us to buy, I have to frame them! LOL
haha the same exact thing happened to my wife. She bought the first book because everyone at her office was talking about them and she wanted to see what all the fuss was about. She was thinking at least we could make fun of it. Well, to my surprise I wake up at like 4 am and she is still reading the darn book. All she could mutter was...almost done. haha Needless to say she ordered the rest of the books the next day. ugh. I've seen the movie twice in the theater. haha I think there must be some subliminal message hidden in the text. :-)
I'd read Twilight a couple months back....and a co-worker JUST lent me New Moon today.
Should I NOT read it?
i can't stop laughing at the birth scene...it's just so perfect....oh my god.
Ha, ha, ha!! Your self-depreciating humor is always great. Haven't read these though. I did enjoy Hamilton (hooked by a friend).
I've been told I've caused a few of those "hangovers" myself. XD
I like the Anita Blake novels, they're so much fun.
I read the first one on a plane too, I had never even heard of it before. I'm happy to say that I stopped my high school vampire journey when the plane got to it's destination.
This is EXACTLY what happened to me. Except I wasn't getting on a plane, I was hurt in a car accident and was bored at home. I don't know if I like it or not, I just know I've read all four books twice. Thanks for illustrating my feelings.
VAMPIRES SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT
Haha, the EXACT same thing happened to me! *Twitch* My boyfriend's sister warned me first... and then boyfriend's brother's girlfriend warned me - But I just.. I didn't.. resist. I didn't! I couldn't. And now *sighs* I own all of them.
you forgot to include the excruciating descriptions of the pacific northwest landscape and climate. i couldn't make it through the first book. the movie was redonk!
the movie is alright.
i'm only on book 3.