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Like, you know, Stephanie Meyer? Get it? - Lucy Knisley Page 4 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lucy Knisley


Like, you know, Stephanie Meyer? Get it? [Mar. 25th, 2009|12:23 pm]

Did you ever think about reading these books, but then thought:
"I don't really have the time/attention span/proper sort of pre-teen hormonal fascination with vampires"?
Now you can see what happens without taking an entire weekend of your life to wade through
approx. 4000 pages of descriptions on how pretty Edward is!
Read on.

Second Page, Cut for SPOILERZZZCollapse )

Not to step on any Twilight fan's indestructible vampiric toes. I did actually very much enjoy my weekend in Forks.
(as evidenced by my reading the entire series in a weekend)
It's just SO FUN to fun on it.

PS: I have NOT seen the movie yet. I will hit that up movie-rental-store style tewt sweeet.
Because I am the only person on earth who doesn't have freakin' Netflix.

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[User Picture]From: dibsy
2009-03-26 03:46 am (UTC)
Huzzah! You quoted my favourite porcelain god bit! Thanks for summarising them, btw, it saved me a lot of hassle.
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[User Picture]From: sbsneech
2009-03-26 04:43 am (UTC)
I at least managed to stop myself after the first book.. at the time, I was amazed I finished it, since for a while, it was driving me -nuts-
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[User Picture]From: nekomata
2009-03-26 04:45 am (UTC)
I read the books because I'm a Librarian. I watched the movie on Sunday because I have cruel friends with Netflix subs. I'm still not sure what happened... But I made it out with the same derisive opinions I went in with! And...and...I liked vampires before. *sob*
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[User Picture]From: seemysunshine
2009-03-26 05:38 am (UTC)
i love this so hard. your summaries are absolutely wonderful. I haven't read the books, but I've read cleolinda's commentaries found here and they are fantastic.

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[User Picture]From: autumnwinds
2009-03-26 06:26 am (UTC)
This was almost the exact same experience. I picked up the first book (two weeks ago?) because I was bored and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and then got very little sleep that week. And I disliked the books enough to be yelling at them while I am reading them. So why read them? I don't know! I can't stop.

I guess part of the appeal is that I lived in Port Angeles for a year and have been in and around the Forks area (and frankly, they could really use the tourist dollars), but even that was full of mistakes.

The DVD is sitting on the end table right now. I am afeared.
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[User Picture]From: autumnwinds
2009-03-26 06:27 am (UTC)
P.S. Oh god, I love your sketch of Disgruntled Jacob Werewolf.
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[User Picture]From: johnnypurple
2009-03-26 07:53 am (UTC)
Awesome! LOL! :D
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[User Picture]From: _amaranth__
2009-03-26 08:19 am (UTC)

The book

I was told I must read the book, luckily for me however I didn't respect the person who told me to do so and hence left it the hell alone.

Just like I left The Davinci Code alone.

...I tried to leave Harry Potter alone but I couldn't. The hype you see.

*Hi, I'm one of those people that watch your comics on LJ. - Claire
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[User Picture]From: kryptyd
2009-03-26 08:58 am (UTC)
Haha! I LOVE the way you draw Edward!

Did the second last panel in Breaking Dawn really happen? >_>
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[User Picture]From: chulacabra
2009-03-30 02:32 am (UTC)
Yes. Every bit of it.
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[User Picture]From: lostlain
2009-03-26 11:57 am (UTC)
Well, this is fantastic. I must now spread the link among every Twilight-reader I know.
The first day I got it I was doing a marathon-reading of book one, but ever since I put it down (which was some months ago), I honestly never felt the need to pick it up again. Eventually...
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[User Picture]From: liadan_giolla_b
2009-03-26 11:59 am (UTC)
I hated Twilight. It was so stupid. Please please read the Sookie Stackhouse series, by Charlaine Harris. (TV series is so-so). Its the perfect Vampire series. Its intelligent, funny, and sexy. You won't feel slimy for reading it. Much better than Rice, even. Please exorcise Twilight from your brain with this series. let me respect you again.

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From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-26 03:24 pm (UTC)
You are brilliant.
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-26 06:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the abstracts, they are perfect! I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. PS.: Be careful, Twilight causes bad flashbacks, you may have to read it again and again. (Like me) O_O
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[User Picture]From: wordchick
2009-03-26 08:38 pm (UTC)
Someone may have mentioned this already (I just couldn't wade through all 4 pages of comments to find out), but there's a nice parody of it here-


It involves a space alien, and the heroine's name is Frig. Short for Friggin Awesome.
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[User Picture]From: koyaaniisqatsi
2009-03-26 11:47 pm (UTC)
FFFFFFFF my friend linked me to this... this is amazing! xD
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[User Picture]From: mein_zwitter
2009-03-27 02:25 am (UTC)
NOOOO! Not you, too! D: I would attempt to shield you from the Twilight, but it is obviously too late.

I tried reading the first book (on the computer, no less) and I think my head exploded. When it grew back, I deleted it. And then my head exploded again because I read parodies and recaps of the books.

I am in LOVE with your illustration of the birthing of mutant baby, though! The schwiiing is just... wow. This is amazing. XD
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[User Picture]From: bugs_is_icky
2009-03-27 04:09 am (UTC)
The same thing happened to me, I got sucked in. I work at a bookstore, I sell bajillions of these every day.

I feel superior to the teenagers because at least I KNOW they are bad, and enjoy them almost because of it.

If it's ok, I'm going to print this off and stick it up in the back room.
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[User Picture]From: faith47
2009-03-27 05:56 am (UTC)
hahaha...nice I-heart-Vampires shirt! I love it. (=
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-27 06:09 pm (UTC)

Lol love it

I loved your comic it was so funny.
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[User Picture]From: jillybean_6939
2009-03-27 06:16 pm (UTC)
Waaa!!! That was so funny! Now I won't have to actually read the books!
Thank you very much for sharing this!

(Please don't mind if I friend you...)
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[User Picture]From: missjenni4
2009-03-27 07:48 pm (UTC)
Why does knowing that you are not the only one to succumb to this series does not make you feel any better about yourself?

O woe.
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[User Picture]From: mela_lyn
2009-03-27 10:13 pm (UTC)
Found this linked by a writer... OMG. You're my hero. I love it!! Hubby and I were cracking up over this!! I'm going to pass a link to this around. Hope you don't mind!
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[User Picture]From: musictwig
2009-03-28 12:01 am (UTC)
I love it!
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[User Picture]From: lore
2009-03-28 04:39 am (UTC)
OMG I ♥ u!!!

love, lore
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[User Picture]From: rimorob
2009-03-28 05:44 pm (UTC)
So very very true. I too am a victim of Twilight addiction. I knew it was bad for me but I kept on reading.

Those summaries are the funniest thing I have seen in a long while. hilarious!
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[User Picture]From: adelerium
2009-03-28 09:56 pm (UTC)

The Stranger's Slog

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