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Lucy Knisley [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lucy Knisley

STOP PAYING ATTENTION.COM

Like, you know, Stephanie Meyer? Get it? [Mar. 25th, 2009|12:23 pm]
Lucy


Did you ever think about reading these books, but then thought:
"I don't really have the time/attention span/proper sort of pre-teen hormonal fascination with vampires"?
Now you can see what happens without taking an entire weekend of your life to wade through
approx. 4000 pages of descriptions on how pretty Edward is!
Read on.


Second Page, Cut for SPOILERZZZCollapse )


Not to step on any Twilight fan's indestructible vampiric toes. I did actually very much enjoy my weekend in Forks.
(as evidenced by my reading the entire series in a weekend)
It's just SO FUN to fun on it.


PS: I have NOT seen the movie yet. I will hit that up movie-rental-store style tewt sweeet.
Because I am the only person on earth who doesn't have freakin' Netflix.
LinkReply

Comments:
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[User Picture]From: nekomata
2009-03-25 06:11 pm (UTC)
I love you even more now. Best plot summary EVAR!
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[User Picture]From: ameinias
2009-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)
Oh no, I did this exact same thing. Except I did it with pirate audiobooks so at least they were free, except that meant actually listening to someone describe Bella vomiting a fountain of blood out loud. And you can't put a fake slip cover on an audiobook to hide your compulsive shame.
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[User Picture]From: kafuness
2009-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)
Is... are you faking on the last book? Because that's some crazy shit. I like don't believe you.

I like Nelly in the first few panels.
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[User Picture]From: mercurywater
2009-03-30 05:07 am (UTC)
I didn't belive it the first time I was told either, but it's TRUE. All of it.
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[User Picture]From: vin_edgar
2009-03-25 06:12 pm (UTC)
I have this theory, see...

and yes, that's just the uncanny valley upaide-down
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[User Picture]From: visdviking
2009-03-25 06:14 pm (UTC)
I haven't touched any Twilight yet but now I am even more tempted. Especially now that I know it all takes place in a town that shares it's name with an eating utensil.
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[User Picture]From: neojezebel
2010-09-28 07:58 pm (UTC)
LOL!
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[User Picture]From: bmcsmartypants
2009-03-25 06:15 pm (UTC)
And now you share my secret shame.

Welcome.
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[User Picture]From: ponyjoe
2009-03-25 06:18 pm (UTC)
PPfffft hahaha. I braved the Spoilers, haven't not seen the movie nor read the books, and I'm SO glad I did. You, sir, are hilarious.

I couldn't even make it past the 3rd chapter :(
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[User Picture]From: piratecore
2009-03-25 06:18 pm (UTC)
AHAHAH! Lucy you are hilarious
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From: poisonrational
2009-03-25 06:20 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHA... Omg, Lucy, that slays* me. It's very accurate. Thank you.

(*Unintended vampire pun. Sorry.)
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-28 11:10 pm (UTC)
man that was great...im never reading the books either...
so there! HAHAHA
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[User Picture]From: drogochideseter
2009-03-25 06:20 pm (UTC)
Sigh! Because I actually do love vampires, I can not at all like the twilight series. I did see the first movie, which upset my nerd-goth sensibilities. Also, I was really confused as to whether or not I should be offended about American Indians being werewolves? I think I've decided that it just makes me pretty uncomfortable. Thank you for telling the whole plot so that I don't have to go back and see the other movies!
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[User Picture]From: morningapproach
2009-03-25 06:24 pm (UTC)
Sadly, this was exactly what I did. I even went back and reread them. And then I realized that the writing was some of the worst that I had ever read, and that the story was so predictable and so annoying.

I love your synopsis. So true :)
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[User Picture]From: sandor_baci
2009-03-25 06:34 pm (UTC)

I ordered another copy of FRENCH MILK

So go on. Burn through those royalties. BUY the DVD already.
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[User Picture]From: drawing_cowboys
2009-03-25 06:43 pm (UTC)
exactly. so much exactly ms. kn.
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[User Picture]From: 9t9
2009-03-25 06:44 pm (UTC)
These are brilliant bb!
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From: ext_99171
2009-03-25 06:47 pm (UTC)

erk

noooo the world is supposed to stop talking about these books because I am constantly tempted to see what the hell could possibly have people going so crazy over them. I was at the panel at comicon and my ears bled for like a week from all the girlscreams.

STOP IT LUCY STOP IT
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