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Lucy Knisley


Like, you know, Stephanie Meyer? Get it? [Mar. 25th, 2009|12:23 pm]

Did you ever think about reading these books, but then thought:
"I don't really have the time/attention span/proper sort of pre-teen hormonal fascination with vampires"?
Now you can see what happens without taking an entire weekend of your life to wade through
approx. 4000 pages of descriptions on how pretty Edward is!
Read on.

Second Page, Cut for SPOILERZZZCollapse )

Not to step on any Twilight fan's indestructible vampiric toes. I did actually very much enjoy my weekend in Forks.
(as evidenced by my reading the entire series in a weekend)
It's just SO FUN to fun on it.

PS: I have NOT seen the movie yet. I will hit that up movie-rental-store style tewt sweeet.
Because I am the only person on earth who doesn't have freakin' Netflix.

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[User Picture]From: ultra_taboo
2009-03-25 08:45 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: him_lover_yt
2009-03-25 08:32 pm (UTC)
Haha, the EXACT same thing happened to me! *Twitch* My boyfriend's sister warned me first... and then boyfriend's brother's girlfriend warned me - But I just.. I didn't.. resist. I didn't! I couldn't. And now *sighs* I own all of them.
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[User Picture]From: enjoy
2009-03-25 08:51 pm (UTC)
you forgot to include the excruciating descriptions of the pacific northwest landscape and climate. i couldn't make it through the first book. the movie was redonk!
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[User Picture]From: self_nemesis
2009-03-25 08:56 pm (UTC)
the movie is alright.

i'm only on book 3.
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[User Picture]From: jaymarcy
2009-03-25 08:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I shall never have to read or see this nonsense now...
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[User Picture]From: 6cubed
2009-03-25 08:59 pm (UTC)
everything you wrote is true
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[User Picture]From: ebility
2009-03-25 09:01 pm (UTC)
watch the movie. I didn't read the books because I got 15 pages in an started vomiting bad plot, but the movie is fucking hilare. pretty sure I actually remember one of the characters saying 'yeah, you watched me sleep for months on end... but it's okay 'cause you're hot.' which is essentially the redeeming factor of the film, besides some lovely trees and houses. by the way, if I had to go with no sleep, no sex, and no food for a hundred years, I'd be fucked up too.

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[User Picture]From: spazmodic
2009-03-25 09:09 pm (UTC)
i love that you perfectly described the series.

it's idiotic. but it's idiot to the point that it's amusing
the fact so many people love it adds to my insatiable curiosity
train wreck syndrome?

the movie is pure gold.
you should play a drinking game when you watch it. say, take a swig every time a long awkward stare happens
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-25 09:22 pm (UTC)

that. was. AWESOME!

It seriously saved me the trouble from opening up the next three books! I finished Twilight and couldn't help but feel 'dirty,' and like my taste for good literature had just fallen into the Raunchy Romance abyss.

The movie's good in terms of scenery and cinematography, and the Alice character! =) It also made me want to visit Washington.
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[User Picture]From: megalosaurus
2009-03-25 09:53 pm (UTC)
oh man. I have never been able to get through the books, but I find hearing about what happens in them to be completely hilarious.
you've read cleolinda's summaries of them right? because if you haven't, it's a real shame:
link here
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From: beatnikspinster
2009-03-25 10:09 pm (UTC)
This was hilarious! You've done me a great service. I was feeling tempted to read them, but now I am cured. Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: daaakota
2009-03-25 10:21 pm (UTC)
I haven't read it so I am not sure what is real and what is spoof in your summary. I hope the last part is spoof.
I am tempted to read it because I am still in Harry Potter withdrawals, and it was pretty fun to be having the universal experience where everyone is reading the same thing.

But I am intrigued by movie Edward. I can't tell if he is sexy or not. Sometimes he is, sometimes he's weird looking. He is weird-sexy.
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-03-25 11:17 pm (UTC)
It's all real.

And...and I don't think it'll be anything like the Harry Potter experience, unfortunately.
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[User Picture]From: superlark
2009-03-25 10:26 pm (UTC)
That was so brilliant, I need to save this forever.
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[User Picture]From: __lys_fleurx__
2009-03-25 10:45 pm (UTC)
The fact that you had the same "why can't I stop reading this?" reaction makes me feel less bad. Because I was so hooked, and yet, I knew how poorly written it was I just had to keep going!
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[User Picture]From: brainparasite
2009-03-25 10:47 pm (UTC)
hahahahahahahaha holy balls that is exactly what happens to you when you read the books/what happens IN the book.
I am glad I am not the only one who was like: Renesme? Seriously. You should not be allowed to have children.
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